WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
