Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
