Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
