Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
