Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
