There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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