well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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