Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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