so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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