I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it glows. i had to have it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize