I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
