there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
