Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
