My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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