whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
