Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
