Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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