he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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