I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
