if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize