Jerry, you need to find god
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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