you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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