EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
