Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
