I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
