So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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