Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
