What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
