lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
