I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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