I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
