I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
