KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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