dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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