Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
