Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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