I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
