Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
