She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
