i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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