hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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