ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
