I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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