Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
