My nipple is on Facebook.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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