Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
