lets start a swedish sibling band together
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
