Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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