yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
