Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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