it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
