The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
