when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i out mim tonsoeep
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
