I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's blow job season.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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