We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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