im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
