I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
