I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
