i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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