I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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