You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
