I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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