I feel great
I just peed on a car
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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